These days, Walmart is a never-ending source of amusement for the Internet. Indeed, taking a stroll through any of the retail giant’s 5,000-plus locations usually provides an amusing glimpse into humanity’s stranger side.


Perhaps unsurprisingly, a Walmart in Lancaster, Ohio, recently had a problem with an unruly patron clothed in nothing but a diaper. So who was this diaper-clad devil?


A monkey.


According to the story, originally covered by The Huffington Post, the monkey escaped from its owner’s RV (obviously) when the latter opened the vehicle’s door. The monkey ran around the parking lot for a while, as brave store employees gave chase. Things got real when the monkey jumped onto the railing of the cart return area; the monkey jumped from the railing, grabbing hold of the arm and clothes of an encroaching employee.


The monkey’s owner immediately became distraught – not for the employee’s safety, of course, but for that of her beloved monkey.


“Let him go! Let him go! Let Him go!” the woman barked at the employee, “If he bites you, they will put him down!”


Finally, the woman grabbed the little creature’s hand and, like a misbehaving child, walked it back to the RV.


For this year’s Pulitzer Prize in Journalistic Videography, I’d like to submit Walmart bystander Richelle Stewart, who caught all this on her cell phone (thank you, Richelle).


Whatever the species, Richelle’s video can be found here. Enjoy!


A witness called 911, claiming that the monkey bit the employee, but no other evidence supports this. Thankfully, the Ohio Department of Agriculture is currently trying to track the woman and her pet, concerned that the animal may not be properly registered.


I try to keep expository articles as objective as possible, but this time, I can’t resist: I would’ve paid way too much money to see this.


-Nick Say




By |2016-09-23T10:00:45+00:00September 23, 2016|Categories: , |0 Comments

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